Tinie Tempah once rapped: 'they say hello they say h'ola they say bonjour.' He's wrong, oh so very wrong. Out here they dont say hello, and they sure as hell dont say bonjour. Infact the most english i managed to extract out of one local who was trying to sell me his own batch of fresh fish next to the delicatescent in the local supermaket was; "English? bye bye." Its safe to say i feel tiny bit out-ethnicised.
Anyhoo except for the minor language barrier i.e. all i can manage is uno cerveza por favour, life here is going rather swimmingly. My day consists of waking up around 11.30 - 12ish, getting some breakfast. Going back to bed for another hour, getting up in time to lay the table. Taking another hour and a half break, because its a little strenuous. I then watch numerous disney films, play monopoly or cards, lay the table for dinner, and, um, thats it! Sometimes i really do think i work myself to hard out here.
Not only do i spend my time hard at work watching my childhood in disney films or playing monopoly with the dodgiest rules that ive played since our family holiday in France, where i 'managed' the bank during a one hour power cut, we also play hide and seek. I should really say played rather than play. The other night i decided that it would be a good idea, during the process of hiding to hide on one of the shelves in one of the kids wardrobes. On opening the wardrobe my sensible voice says: 'josh youre 18, and 12st is a kids shelf in a wardrobe that looked like it had been bought from the Spanish version of IKEA really going to hold you?'
My inside voice replies
'Of course it will, its got scarves and socks on it, why wouldnt it be able to hold your weight?'
We now forward this situation a minute where tall 12st English manny is holding a shelf in one hand and his arse in the other while trying to explain in English to a 7yr old that has my equivalent of Spanish, why Josh is such a massive idiot.
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